Consider the Simple Things

I had a very recent facebook status that really expresses my life at that time.
“It always amazes me how God can teach me through simple and seemingly unimportant events in my life.”
That is what I wrote, and I meant every word of it. I mean, it really is amazing. Me! A thick headed girl with a delicate ego and almost wanting to be superior air. It’s almost ironic how God would use little events like for example, an awkward pause and word fumble in a speech that I was confident I couldn’t even mess up. It’s almost like God used that to softly whisper “Hey, get off your high chair and be humiliated and humble.

(It’s funny because I had talked to my sister about that, being humiliated for God. That doesn’t mean necessarily only be humiliated when it is for or because of God, it could also mean to take a humiliating situation and be humbled by it.
Humiliated literally means to cause a person a painful loss of pride and God calls us to be humbled when we are humiliated—that’s not easy! If you think about it, Jesus was just as humiliated as he could get, being beaten, whipped, mocked, striped of his clothing, betrayed by His “friend”, and being watched and scoffed at as was bleeding on a cross made for thieves, liars, murderers, seducers, and every bad thing you could think of. I honestly don’t know anyone more humiliated like that, it makes all the times you got embarrassed seem like an honor to go through. When you think about it though, Jesus didn’t have to go through all of that. He could have decided after His first hit that “Hey, I don’t want to go through this anymore. These people don’t even like me!” and went up to paradise in heaven. He had a choice to be humiliated that badly, but He chose to go through with it for us. So what if you feel humiliated whether or not is directly or indirectly for God. Getting a little embarrassed might be a way for God to say “Take this opportunity and be humbled by it so that others can see you have the grace to take it. It doesn’t even matter if you get laughed at, all that matters is that you are Mine.”)

 Anyways, back to my point. I think God has been trying to tell me through these simple situations where I am embarrassed is to put down your pride that you have been scouring up and stop being a people pleaser. I’ve been struggling with being a people pleaser all my life. Not necessarily the kind that if someone asks you to do something you would drop everything to do it just to impress that person; more of you don’t want to say something stupid that will embarrass you so that you wouldn’t look petty in the other people’s eyes. (a prideful people pleaser) If you came from where I came from, jumping from a sheltered Christian homeschooled home where everyone has no choice but to except you (you can’t pick your family) to  a big school full of young other people pleasers (admit it, everyone has compromised themselves at one point to impress someone) you could imagine that my habit only worsened. Pretty soon the way I acted changed. The change was only a little, but enough that I would start to notice after a while. One of the small, simple things that I started to do to please people and fit in with everyone was that I would throw “witty” light-hearted insults to people (in their face, don’t worry—actually, maybe you should worry). Have you noticed that though? How making funny insults to people is cool and acceptable and well, funny? Now, I know that it’s only a joke, but if you really think about it, do you almost actually mean it? Even the smallest tiniest bit? I know I did at times. Did you ever think the victim of your “friendly” insults might feel hurt? I know when I have been a "victim" that it can hurt, especially if the person just keeps on repeating and repeating it. When I started to notice that I was throwing "happy" insults to people regularly I was thankful I was able to realize what I was doing was hurtful. I should be encouraging my friends (not to the point that you treat them like pets though) and I should be reflecting God's love for me to them. It's something that I have been working on to quit and I struggle with it daily.
It's funny because the way I started to notice what I was doing was wrong, was because of simple, little situations where I was embarrassed. When I was embarrassed, I felt smaller and more awkward then I am, it killed my pride. I had to have pride killer situations before I realized what I am really trying to do is impress people. When I realized that, I've been trying to fix it and I realized the seemingly little, simple insults is a good place to start. I realized through simple situations that a simple innocent insult is not what a Christian should do a lot because it can cause complicated fixing. I learned that God can use simple situations to tell me that a simple thing like that is wrong, so consider the simple things.

I Suppose...

I suppose you may be wondering why I am writing a blog. I decided to write a  blog for two reasons: one, because a certain older sister wouldn't get off my back about having a journal or at least a blog, and two, because I know that in less than a year  I have learned soo much and have really been growing in the Lord and I want to share my experiences and joy that I have found loving God with everyone that I can. I must also warn you though, before you read my blog, I am not a experienced writer, I won't pretend to be all smart or wise and I can't write poetically or profoundly. When you read this blog you will only get the mixed up and emotional thoughts (And hopefully not, but maybe some typos) of a teenager girl.

I suppose that before you read anything else, you would like to know a little bit about me. I am a fourteen year old girl who is the youngest of seven children in a family of eleven. (Yes, I did count my two little kitties) I have been homeschooled all my life but since this school year I have been taking a few classes in a high school. (Which probably is one of the reasons why my life has become interesting and full of strange experiences and opportunity) Music is a big part of my life but it's not what I plan to do and I don't enjoy it as much as other things that I do. I've wanted all my life to know how to ride a horse and I love to read, write, bake, and watch redbox movies---that's pretty much me in a nutshell.

I suppose that you will probably be slightly interested in how I came to know and love Jesus. It's quite a simple story but I do love saying it. I was born in a Christian home. We would go to church, have Bible studies, talk about God, and even our parents scolding and lectures would mention God. As a young girl I kind of understood the message...it's just that I felt I had to keep on Jesus to enter my heart and save me whenever I did something bad. I believe that it wasn't until I was eight when I truly understood the gospel and asked Jesus to save me. From when I was eight up to around the later times of when I was nine, I was a total firecracker for God, or at least as much as a shy little girl could be. I always had a desire to spread the Gospel to everyone that I could. (It's funny because I remember that one of my goals was to share the Gospel with Saddam Hussein. When I found out that he died, I remember crying for him, and in a way, I felt like a failed.) During sixth grade I grew lukewarm, in fact soo lukewarm I could almost call it cold. I was driven to a point of depression and at times seriously hated who I was. I was very wounded and couldn't find a way to heal...but I was looking in the wrong place. In the winter of eighth grade, I started to notive that God was calling my name and asking me to come back to Him that whole time to be healed. God used a college ministry to get my attention. The ministry was amazing! My older siblings invited me to come with. I was totally dumb stuck, (Okay that is easy for people to get me dumbstruck. Awestruck is a better choice of words) the people there were so on fire for God and they treated everyone the same no matter what background they came from. (This college was big and diverse so you have people many different people. Many of them got saved in college so what their life was like before was usually...a drastic change.) I came to their services a lot and learned so much, but even after that, things aren't a smooth, happy road. I make mistakes (A ton at that) and I still struggle with a lot of different things. A day doesn't go by it seems where God is trying to get me to understand something. I'm still learning, but I love it!

I suppose you are wondering why this blog is named Stanger In a Foreign Land. It's a simple and plain reason. I took it from a song by Jeromy Darling. I'm pretty sure I've been talking a lot so I will just put the words down and let them sink in a bit.

It’s never enough to imagine

It’s never enough in the mind’s eye

Your face is seen, by no one

But if I could You for anything I’m asking

Hold my hand, I’m sick of fighting in a foreign land

Dreaming of Home again, when is the only place I’ve never been

Heart in hand, Your child’s asking for the Promise Land

And in Your arms again, I find I’m closer than I’ve ever been

This song is really just a child of God that is asking for God to be with him, because he is growing weary of this journey. Home and the Promise Land are both heaven and the foreign land is earth. We are born again natives of Heaven! How cool is that? We are to be strangers to earth. Our home and our goal should be Heaven with God! I love this song! :)

I suppose you may be wondering what exactly am I going to be writing in this blog. To be honest, I don't know! But one thing I know is that you will get nothing but the truth of the life of a teenage girl. I will do my best to be plain out raw and not to hid a single bit of my thoughts. (which will probably be most of the time pleasurable unless my thoughts are in the wrong then...I will do my best to give you a full account) It will most likely get confusing (as most teenagers’ life are) and there will be a lot of tears. (on my part) Who knows! A blog about a fourteen year old homeschooled girl in a public school taking classes and in the prime of her life may be very, very boring...I don't know! It sounds pretty interesting to me right now though. :)