I had a very recent facebook status that really expresses my life at that time.
“It always amazes me how God can teach me through simple and seemingly unimportant events in my life.”
That is what I wrote, and I meant every word of it. I mean, it really is amazing. Me! A thick headed girl with a delicate ego and almost wanting to be superior air. It’s almost ironic how God would use little events like for example, an awkward pause and word fumble in a speech that I was confident I couldn’t even mess up. It’s almost like God used that to softly whisper “Hey, get off your high chair and be humiliated and humble.
(It’s funny because I had talked to my sister about that, being humiliated for God. That doesn’t mean necessarily only be humiliated when it is for or because of God, it could also mean to take a humiliating situation and be humbled by it.
Humiliated literally means to cause a person a painful loss of pride and God calls us to be humbled when we are humiliated—that’s not easy! If you think about it, Jesus was just as humiliated as he could get, being beaten, whipped, mocked, striped of his clothing, betrayed by His “friend”, and being watched and scoffed at as was bleeding on a cross made for thieves, liars, murderers, seducers, and every bad thing you could think of. I honestly don’t know anyone more humiliated like that, it makes all the times you got embarrassed seem like an honor to go through. When you think about it though, Jesus didn’t have to go through all of that. He could have decided after His first hit that “Hey, I don’t want to go through this anymore. These people don’t even like me!” and went up to paradise in heaven. He had a choice to be humiliated that badly, but He chose to go through with it for us. So what if you feel humiliated whether or not is directly or indirectly for God. Getting a little embarrassed might be a way for God to say “Take this opportunity and be humbled by it so that others can see you have the grace to take it. It doesn’t even matter if you get laughed at, all that matters is that you are Mine.”)
Anyways, back to my point. I think God has been trying to tell me through these simple situations where I am embarrassed is to put down your pride that you have been scouring up and stop being a people pleaser. I’ve been struggling with being a people pleaser all my life. Not necessarily the kind that if someone asks you to do something you would drop everything to do it just to impress that person; more of you don’t want to say something stupid that will embarrass you so that you wouldn’t look petty in the other people’s eyes. (a prideful people pleaser) If you came from where I came from, jumping from a sheltered Christian homeschooled home where everyone has no choice but to except you (you can’t pick your family) to a big school full of young other people pleasers (admit it, everyone has compromised themselves at one point to impress someone) you could imagine that my habit only worsened. Pretty soon the way I acted changed. The change was only a little, but enough that I would start to notice after a while. One of the small, simple things that I started to do to please people and fit in with everyone was that I would throw “witty” light-hearted insults to people (in their face, don’t worry—actually, maybe you should worry). Have you noticed that though? How making funny insults to people is cool and acceptable and well, funny? Now, I know that it’s only a joke, but if you really think about it, do you almost actually mean it? Even the smallest tiniest bit? I know I did at times. Did you ever think the victim of your “friendly” insults might feel hurt? I know when I have been a "victim" that it can hurt, especially if the person just keeps on repeating and repeating it. When I started to notice that I was throwing "happy" insults to people regularly I was thankful I was able to realize what I was doing was hurtful. I should be encouraging my friends (not to the point that you treat them like pets though) and I should be reflecting God's love for me to them. It's something that I have been working on to quit and I struggle with it daily.
It's funny because the way I started to notice what I was doing was wrong, was because of simple, little situations where I was embarrassed. When I was embarrassed, I felt smaller and more awkward then I am, it killed my pride. I had to have pride killer situations before I realized what I am really trying to do is impress people. When I realized that, I've been trying to fix it and I realized the seemingly little, simple insults is a good place to start. I realized through simple situations that a simple innocent insult is not what a Christian should do a lot because it can cause complicated fixing. I learned that God can use simple situations to tell me that a simple thing like that is wrong, so consider the simple things.
“It always amazes me how God can teach me through simple and seemingly unimportant events in my life.”
That is what I wrote, and I meant every word of it. I mean, it really is amazing. Me! A thick headed girl with a delicate ego and almost wanting to be superior air. It’s almost ironic how God would use little events like for example, an awkward pause and word fumble in a speech that I was confident I couldn’t even mess up. It’s almost like God used that to softly whisper “Hey, get off your high chair and be humiliated and humble.
(It’s funny because I had talked to my sister about that, being humiliated for God. That doesn’t mean necessarily only be humiliated when it is for or because of God, it could also mean to take a humiliating situation and be humbled by it.
Humiliated literally means to cause a person a painful loss of pride and God calls us to be humbled when we are humiliated—that’s not easy! If you think about it, Jesus was just as humiliated as he could get, being beaten, whipped, mocked, striped of his clothing, betrayed by His “friend”, and being watched and scoffed at as was bleeding on a cross made for thieves, liars, murderers, seducers, and every bad thing you could think of. I honestly don’t know anyone more humiliated like that, it makes all the times you got embarrassed seem like an honor to go through. When you think about it though, Jesus didn’t have to go through all of that. He could have decided after His first hit that “Hey, I don’t want to go through this anymore. These people don’t even like me!” and went up to paradise in heaven. He had a choice to be humiliated that badly, but He chose to go through with it for us. So what if you feel humiliated whether or not is directly or indirectly for God. Getting a little embarrassed might be a way for God to say “Take this opportunity and be humbled by it so that others can see you have the grace to take it. It doesn’t even matter if you get laughed at, all that matters is that you are Mine.”)
Anyways, back to my point. I think God has been trying to tell me through these simple situations where I am embarrassed is to put down your pride that you have been scouring up and stop being a people pleaser. I’ve been struggling with being a people pleaser all my life. Not necessarily the kind that if someone asks you to do something you would drop everything to do it just to impress that person; more of you don’t want to say something stupid that will embarrass you so that you wouldn’t look petty in the other people’s eyes. (a prideful people pleaser) If you came from where I came from, jumping from a sheltered Christian homeschooled home where everyone has no choice but to except you (you can’t pick your family) to a big school full of young other people pleasers (admit it, everyone has compromised themselves at one point to impress someone) you could imagine that my habit only worsened. Pretty soon the way I acted changed. The change was only a little, but enough that I would start to notice after a while. One of the small, simple things that I started to do to please people and fit in with everyone was that I would throw “witty” light-hearted insults to people (in their face, don’t worry—actually, maybe you should worry). Have you noticed that though? How making funny insults to people is cool and acceptable and well, funny? Now, I know that it’s only a joke, but if you really think about it, do you almost actually mean it? Even the smallest tiniest bit? I know I did at times. Did you ever think the victim of your “friendly” insults might feel hurt? I know when I have been a "victim" that it can hurt, especially if the person just keeps on repeating and repeating it. When I started to notice that I was throwing "happy" insults to people regularly I was thankful I was able to realize what I was doing was hurtful. I should be encouraging my friends (not to the point that you treat them like pets though) and I should be reflecting God's love for me to them. It's something that I have been working on to quit and I struggle with it daily.
It's funny because the way I started to notice what I was doing was wrong, was because of simple, little situations where I was embarrassed. When I was embarrassed, I felt smaller and more awkward then I am, it killed my pride. I had to have pride killer situations before I realized what I am really trying to do is impress people. When I realized that, I've been trying to fix it and I realized the seemingly little, simple insults is a good place to start. I realized through simple situations that a simple innocent insult is not what a Christian should do a lot because it can cause complicated fixing. I learned that God can use simple situations to tell me that a simple thing like that is wrong, so consider the simple things.
No comments:
Post a Comment